A thought to brighten your day, fortune cookie wisdom with a little humor. Most of these are profound, or at least a little profound, thoughts, things you might hear a religious guru or a fortune cookie say. Some of them would also be rather fitting as a bumpersticker.

Monday, August 14, 2006

The voices in my head say you have a mental problem.

When life hands you lemons throw them at someone!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Not all men are fools, Some are single.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

You are the kind of person that is a blueprint for the making of an idiot.

I'm a vegetarian by choice - I don't love animals, I just hate vegetables.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Happiness is seeing my ex-husband's picture on the back of a milk carton!

Friday, June 24, 2005

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give him a freshly-charged electric eel and chances are he won't bother you for anything ever again.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

I never get lost, everybody tells me where to go.

Eat beef, the west was not won by chickens!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Raising kids is like having your eyes pecked out by hungry hens!

The way to avoid certain failure? Stay in bed!

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?